Front Porch Review
A literary magazine for the young at heart and mind

            The above title is not intended to shock or puzzle. It simply states a fact: I have moved to a retirement home where I can stay the rest of my life. The Mather is a new building, only half a block away from my present apartment. People asked, "Were you excited?" And I told them, "That is not the right word. I left an apartment that was light and spacious with a fifth-floor view of trees. In short, it was paradise."
            I am still in good shape - fingers crossed - but sooner or later that will change. And I cannot wait for that to happen because The Mather presently accepts only independent residents. So I chose security over familiarity - it was not an easy decision, but it gives me peace of mind.
            The French have an expression, "Partir, c'est mourir un peu" - "to leave is to die a little." It usually refers to leaving a person, but it might just as well apply to a beloved place. I fully expected to be near tears as I left, but I made a surprising discovery. Since my future apartment is considerably smaller, I had to part with some of my furniture. After my children made their choices, the neighbors took the rest to a church rummage sale. As my apartment gradually emptied of what I once dusted and polished, my emotional attachment weakened. Without my furniture and other possessions, the place became less personal. It was a bit like the weaning of a child from his or her mother; I gradually lost my dependence on my apartment. I concluded I had loved it because it was my place.
            Of course, even empty its physical attributes were as attractive as ever, and I will always cherish the twelve years I spent there. But when, at the end of the day, the place was empty, I was ready to say goodbye and move on to build a new nest.

By Atie Zuurdeeg

Atie Zuurdeeg, a native of The Netherlands, came to the U.S. in 1952 to join her new, also Dutch, husband in Chicago. After his death eleven years later, she moved with her three sons to Evanston, a suburb which had always attracted her and with excellent schools. Once the boys were all in school full-time, she began graduate study of French at Northwestern, which eventually led to a position on the faculty of Augustana College in Rock Island, IL. Upon retirement she returned to her beloved Evanston and joined Osher Lifelong Learning Institute to her perpetual enjoyment.